Time Is Not An Unlimited Resource
“Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.”
William Penn
Time is not really on our side.
If you are like me, this quote hits pretty hard, especially when leading my family to love Jesus deeper through spiritual disciplines such as daily reading Scripture, prayer, and Sabbath, all while working a job. I believe all parents know they have a limited time with their children but rarely cherish the moments when they happen. We find ourselves doing much and accomplishing little. It’s time for a change. It’s time to get serious about discipling our children in the Lord. The next generation of believers are in our homes and need godly examples of people living out God’s mission for all believers. What we do matters today.
I’m not an expert by any means, but I think many of us have become distracted by the spectacles of this world. The glitter and glamor of social media and the access to unlimited knowledge at the end of our fingertips have made “real-time” dull. We end up wasting hours of our day scrolling feeds of people we don’t have any real connection with and neglect those closest to us.
Guilty!
Look, I’m guilty of this too. I’m not writing this to ask for pity, to make you feel shame, or to suggest quitting social media altogether. I am writing these things because my wife and children need to know I love them more than what my phone or computer can offer. I’m sure that is true of you too. If you measure from a child’s birth to the eighteenth birthday, we only have an estimated 938 weeks with them in our care. We are to teach them to eat, crawl, walk, brush their teeth, and become self-sufficient during that time. We are also called to disciple them to know, love, and serve Jesus. Let’s look at what the Bible says:
4 “Listen, Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 6 These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. 7 Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your city gates.
Deuteronomy 6:4-9
We know it’s a problem, so how do we fix it?
The short answer is we need to pray and ask God to start to work in us as we lead our families. We cannot lead from empty. It means starting small and, as things progress in your discipleship, replicating it in your family. Over time, many small things can significantly affect your life and the rest of your family. Many resources are available to help guide you in creating an intentional discipleship process with your children. I will list some resources my family and I have used with links at the bottom of this post for you to explore and try out for your family. I’d love to hear about resources you have used as well because I’m still growing and learning. My kids are elementary and younger so I’ll need a lot of resources soon as my wife and I enter into the pre-teen and teenage years.
I came across a few lines in a book I’ve been reading with a discipleship group that I lead that caused me to pause and reflect on my own life.
Some of us are actually addicted-not to drugs or alcohol, but to the adrenaline rush of doing. We might read about the need to rest and recharge, but we fear how many things might fall apart if we did. So we just keep going. And in this hurried and exhausted state, we have little time or energy left to invest in our relationship with God, ourselves, or others. As a result, our own lives remain largely unchanged, and the only thing we have to give away to those we lead is our shallow discipleship.
Emotionally Healthy Discipleship – Peter Scazerro
Doing vs. Being
Doing for God versus being with God has been a constant struggle in my own life. I find myself constantly doing. I’ve reached the edge of burnout a few times, and I don’t want my children to follow in these particular footsteps, if you know what I mean. I want them to have better relationships with God and others because that is how God created them. He created each of us to be relational beings who fully trust, obey, and love their creator. God created us with the ability to create new things using the resources He provided. He gave the command to cultivate the earth to help things grow.
Sin changed how relationships work, and mankind’s relationship with God, which once was easy, is now complex. Everything is difficult. Raising children is difficult, and raising them to be Christ-followers is even more difficult. Especially in the age of all knowledge at the tips of their fingers or the click of a button.
I’m not here to condemn; I have similar struggles to you. We are not perfect and never will be in life, and we certainly will not be perfect at parenting. I’ve heard it said that our standard should not be perfection, yet instead should be that of repentance. As I looked into the mirror of my life, I needed to repent of my sins of trying to lead my family and disciple my children out of my shallow discipleship.
Who has time for Sabbath anyways?
Up until recently, I did not practice the Sabbath. As a result, I’ve never really rested. As I mentioned, I’ve lived in a constant state of doing. I feared things would fall apart around me, and sometimes they do, but God is in control. Over the last few months, I’ve experienced some restlessness at my job and in other areas of my life. I ended up leaving my job with no other plan but trusting God to provide for my family and draw me into a closer relationship with Him. Do you know what He did?
A few months ago, a really good friend of mine texted me. We caught up for a bit, and then he told me about this new product he and a few others created to help families practice the rhythm of the Sabbath together. I thought, yeah, that sounds great. I’d love to do that, but I don’t have time. I ordered it, and it arrived a few weeks later. It sat in the box until a few weeks ago. The Sunday after I left my job, we opened the box as a family and began our journey to experiencing the Sabbath together. Whoa! A full 24 hours of stopping and enjoying God, His creation, and my family. What I’ve known to be true about the Sabbath was finally being played out in real life. In all my doing, I neglected being with God and trusting Him to provide.
If it is to be, it is up to me.
As the leader in my home, the buck stops with me. If my tank is empty, I can’t honestly lead my wife or children to know, love, and serve Jesus. If I remain empty, they will end up being filled with something else. It’s simple and complicated at the same time, but to lead my family in practicing spiritual disciplines, I need to lead the way. I know, novel idea, right? Taking a full 24 hours to practice the Sabbath was new, different, and even a little strange. But, I had to decide to do it. It wasn’t perfect and didn’t have to be. Remember, perfection should not be our standard of living; it should be that of repentance. As I model repentance, Sabbath, daily time in Scripture, and prayer, my wife and children will start to emulate me as I emulate Christ Jesus.
Here are the resources my family has used, and I imagine the list will continue to grow as we grow, embarking on a healthier way of discipleship. As a side note, none of these resources should replace daily time reading the bible; these are only to help drive the truth of Scripture deeper into your heart.
Things to do with the family:
Devotionals:
Books for personal growth:
Emotionally Healthy Discipleship
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