“I’m sorry, I made a mistake.”

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“I’m sorry, I made a mistake.”

These words are among the most powerful words you will say as the leader of your family and as a leader at work. When we lay aside our pride and admit we’ve made a mistake, people start to listen. Admitting fault helps you gain credibility and stay humble. In life we all make mistakes, but we are not to let them define us. I will admit some mistakes are more costly than others, but we are to use them to become wiser. The ability to admit when you are wrong shows courage and helps to build your character. God is more concerned with the choices we make that help build our character than He is with every little decision made such as “What should I wear today?” Taking responsibility and owning a mistake can be the greatest opportunity for growth. Great leaders seek out and accept responsibility for their actions. We can learn from failures if we take the time to reflect on what led to the mistake. We must then take preventive measures to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

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LEADERSHIP AT WORK

At work, we often find it difficult to say these words because we fear that we will be portrayed as a weak leader to our co-workers. Many leaders have this unhealthy perception that weakness cannot be displayed in front of co-workers. Admitting failures actually strengthens culture and builds trust among teams. Leaders need to be honest about their shortcomings and take what they have learned to help them make better decisions later. Respect is earned when humility is displayed. Leaders this is an opportunity to model the culture you want to create in your organization. Admitting your mistakes as a leader starts to build a foundation of trust. Everyone knows leaders are not perfect. Don’t try to be. Perfection is a burden too great for anyone to bear.

I often, set un-communicated high standards for team members. I have struggled with this for a really long time. I set high standards for myself and then transfer the expectations I have for myself to my team members. And they have no clue that I have done this until I’m on their case, pointing out their flaws and how they can improve in whatever task I have asked them to complete. Let me be clear, THIS IS WRONG. Frequently I find myself asking team members to forgive me for the ways that I have reacted to their work. If I haven’t communicated my plan for them how can I hold them accountable to a standard they don’t even know exist?

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LEADERSHIP AT HOME

At home, it is difficult to ask my wife and children to forgive me, but not because I’m afraid that they will see me (husband and daddy) as weak, but that l am harder on myself when I make mistakes in leading my family. I catch myself skipping steps in the discipline process that my wife and I use to correct our children. I think to myself, “Failed opportunity in demonstrating the gospel to M & J. Maybe next time.”

Or when my wife asks me to take care of specific tasks, and I do them, but not correctly or hurried. These actions usually lead to disappointment and guilt. Asking your spouse for their forgiveness is freeing and biblical. Ephesians 4:26 tells us, ” Be angry, but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” My wife and I have experienced some long fights, but I cannot remember ever going to sleep without working through forgiving each other for wrongdoings. We have been married for over ten years and I am still learning how to lead her and my boys toward Christ.

In every situation we need to remember that we are “First a sinner, Second sinned against.” I have heard my pastor say this many times over the years and I believe this saying has helped remind me to quickly forgive my wife because I was forgiven for greater things.

 

When admitting mistakes here are some things to consider:

REPENTANCE ⇒ FORGIVENESS ⇒ DELIVERANCE

1. REPENTANCE: Take ownership of actions and be genuine in the apology.
2. FORGIVENESS: Ask for forgiveness from those involved.
3. DELIVERANCE: Ask for accountability in future occurrences and share insights.

Allow others to have time to forgive you. Consistency in asking for forgiveness builds trust and takes time. Take time to admit when you are wrong. It creates the transparent culture you want in your home and organization.