Know, Empower, Grow

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Relational leaders know how to relate to the people they lead.

As leaders, we need to know the people who are on our team. I’m not talking about just knowing their name and a few facts about them. I am referring to knowing them as if they were a member of your family, someone you deeply care about. We need to know when they need a shoulder and when they need a “high-five.”

The only way to relate to your team is to ask them questions about themselves. Getting to know members of your team on a deeper level pays big dividends. Let’s face it, people love talking about themselves.

The key is asking the right questions. By asking the right questions, leaders can help the team increase their productivity, morale, and give a higher quality of work. Showing care and interests in others allows the team to see their boss as someone who actually cares about them as a person and not a money-making machine.

People will not always immediately be forthcoming with their answers to your questions. Just like every other type of relationship, it takes time to build trust.

Being able to ask the right questions begins with knowing how to ask the questions.

Communication Tips

• Be Genuine– Your team member will know if you are genuine in your approach when getting to know them. You want them to know you care for them, so be real and authentic.
• Be Humble– You may not like some of the answers you get from your team members. You are getting to know them, so listen and hear them out.
• Be Consistent– You have to be consistent in your approach. This helps build trust with your team member.

Consider these Questions

What accomplishment are you most proud of this week?

• This question helps to create a sense of accomplishment to help the team member realize they are doing their part to help the organization succeed.
• This helps the leader get a clearer picture of what type of work the team members are doing.
• Their answer can assist you in leading them to improvement.

What has been difficult for you to do this week?

• This question can help you gauge where and how much you need to assist your team member and in what areas.
• This question also gives you a chance to coach your team member into using their problem-solving skills.
• Challenges often make us better when we learn from them. As a leader, you are the encourager, so encourage your team member through their challenges.

What needs to change to make your job or role more efficient?

• Empower your team members to think about change. When they feel like their opinion is valuable and is taken into consideration, they will often increase their productivity and improve work performance.
• Everyone has a role and a position to play in your organization, help your team members realize their part.

What can I do to help you?

• Your job as the leader is not to do their job for them, but assist them and encourage them to do theirs to the best of their ability.
• We all have situations that come up in our lives that are painful; the loss of a loved one, an argument with a spouse, mental anguish, or depression. Whatever the situation, everyone needs to have someone in their corner. They need to know that there is someone there to love them, care for them, encourage them, and pray for them.

The questions above are not magic questions, but they are helpful in establishing a baseline in relationship building within a team.

Leadership is a process. I am by no means an expert at this very topic. I do, however, know that when I ask these questions and take the time to get to know my team results follow. Just to clarify, this is not to be used to manipulate people to get better results. This is intended to build a relationship-it goes far beyond results. People matter. They want to know that they are a valuable member of the team, not a pawn that is easily replaceable or insignificant.

The trick to getting better results and creating a better work environment is empowering the members of the team for action. It is easier to empower people when you know their strengths and weakness. The more practice and experience they get in real-time situations the greater opportunity for growth and development. This is challenging and requires significant time, but intentionality goes a long way. Be genuine, humble, and consistent as you begin conversations that will help to know, empower, and grow the members of the team you lead.