Helping Kids (and Ourselves) Escape the Trap of Comparison

Pumpkin sailing. Wife carrying. Cheese rolling. Extreme ironing. If you’ve never heard of these bizarre competitions, do yourself a favor and look them up—just be prepared to laugh. My own brother once decided to “extreme iron” his pants in the median on I-4 just outside of the exit for Disney World in Orlando. True story. But don’t worry, this blog post isn’t about “Jesus ironing out the wrinkles of sin.”

Still, these silly contests paint a powerful picture. Because just like people compete for the spotlight in odd events, we often compete and compare in much more subtle—and spiritual—ways. Especially in ministry. Especially in parenting. Especially when we’re raising or leading kids.

And that’s exactly what happens in John 21:20–25, the final verses of the Gospel of John. Let’s set the stage.

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The Comparison Trap: Peter and John

In John 21:15–19, Jesus restores Peter after his denial and gives him a crystal-clear mission: “Feed my sheep.” It’s a beautiful moment of grace, calling, and purpose.

But Peter’s next move?

He turns and sees John following behind them and asks, “Lord, what about him?”

You can almost hear Jesus’ loving but firm reply:

“If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you? As for you, follow me.” (John 21:22)

Boom. Jesus doesn’t entertain Peter’s curiosity or comparison. He redirects him—“Follow me.”

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What This Teaches Us About God and the Mission

As parents and ministry leaders, we want to give the children in our lives confidence in who God made them to be. But that won’t happen if we ourselves are tangled in comparison or caught chasing someone else’s calling.

Here’s what this passage shows us about God:

• God foreknows our entire journey—our calling, suffering, and even our death.
• God receives glory from every unique story—Moses, Ruth, Jeremiah, David, and yes, even your life.
• Jesus isn’t just calling Peter (or you) to some path; He’s calling each of us to our path in following Him.
• He’s returning, and there’s more to His story than the world could ever contain (v. 25).

Jesus isn’t after our performance. He’s after our obedience. And comparison is often the first thing to steal it.

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What This Teaches Us About People—and Kids

• We naturally compare. Peter couldn’t help himself—and neither can we or our kids.
• Comparison leads to distraction. Peter just had a powerful encounter with Jesus, and he almost missed it because he was focused on someone else’s assignment.
• Following Jesus is personal. Each of us is called to “follow me” with the gifts, time, and place we’ve been given.
• Following Jesus is communal. We are to share our experiences and the gospel with others.

Kids today live in the constant pressure cooker of comparison—academics, sports, TikTok, Instagram, popularity, even in church. And adults are not immune. But what if we helped them step out of that cycle?

What if, instead of asking, “Why can’t I be like them?”, they learned to ask,
“Jesus, what do You want me to do?”

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Action Step: Look in the Right Mirror

Let’s close with a story.

An elderly man, extremely nearsighted, once tried to impress friends at an art gallery with his sharp eye. Standing before what he thought was a painting, he harshly critiqued it: “The frame’s all wrong. The subject’s ugly. No way this is a masterpiece.”
His wife finally whispered, “Dear… you’re looking in a mirror.”

That’s what happens when we compare—we forget we’re staring at ourselves. But the Word of God is the true mirror. And it doesn’t reflect what the world sees. It shows us our need, our calling, and our Savior.

And when we look into that mirror, Jesus is saying to us, just like He said to Peter:

“As for you… follow me.”

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How to Help the Kids in Your Life

Whether you’re parenting or leading a small group, here’s how you can help:

1. Affirm God’s unique calling on each child. Don’t elevate one gift over another.
2. Call out comparison early. Teach kids it’s okay to notice differences—but not to use them to judge their value.
3. Point them to Christ, not others. Remind them they don’t need to be like “so-and-so.” They need to follow Jesus.
4. Model contentment. Let kids see you choosing obedience over envy, mission over insecurity.

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Who Needs to Hear This?

Is there a parent on your ministry team who’s feeling “less than”? A volunteer comparing themselves to someone else? A child struggling with self-worth?

Forward this post. Share the truth. Speak the words of Jesus:

“What is that to you? As for you… follow me.”

As it turns out, I guess this post was about “Jesus ironing out the wrinkles of sin or comparison in our lives.”